“Sex Addiction” (Out-of-control Sexual Behavior)

“Sex Addiction”

(Out-of-control sexual behavior)

Some clients worry that their sexual behavior is out of control. Our culture likes to refer to this as “sex addiction.” The term usually refers to a pattern of sexual behaviors that are problematic, distressing and difficult to stop. It may involve negative consequences.  Despite efforts to stop, sexual behaviors and urges continue.  This  results in feelings of despair, helplessness and overwhelm.

I work with two sets of clients with these symptoms. The first are those who describe their behaviors as compulsive, compelling and difficult to resist. These clients have more negative consequences. For example, the man that gets caught looking at porn at work and loses his job.

The second group are those that are erotically conflicted. They are both drawn to and repelled by the same desire. Their sexual behaviors are distressing, but not necessarily compulsive. This client might have a sexual fetish that is very exciting, but he fears this fetish would never be tolerated by his spouse.

The question for the client is “What is your conflict with your sexual behavior?

Some clients diagnose themselves. Others are diagnosed as sex addicts by their partners, ministers, employers, family members or the culture at large.

Sex Addiction

How do you know if this is you?

Have you had any of the following consequences?

  • Preoccupation with sexual thoughts or behaviors that interfere with your primary relationship, family, work or recreation?
  • Making promises to stop your sexual activities, only to find yourself unable to keep that promise?
  • Engaging in sexual behaviors that conflict with your values?

Is your sexual behavior resulting in:

  • serious relationship problems
  • financial difficulties
  • lying to loved ones
  • unplanned pregnancies
  • sexually transmitted infections
  • suicidal thoughts or attempts
  • separation or divorce
  • diminished work capacity

If so, sex therapy may be the answer you’ve been looking for.  Current research shows that our clinical treatment interventions are effective in treating these sexual concerns.